Press Conference

Tawanda Gona: Thank you all for coming to this press conference. I am here to announce my indefinite hiatus from Facebook and my new term on Blogspot. I will now open the floor for questions

Reporter 1: Tawanda seriously, you and Bill Harris are clearly the same person, just admit it!

Tawanda: Bill told me about you, and no I'm not Bill Harris, for one I wear my hat to the left and I'm clearly not Jewish. Next question, Reporter 1 raise your hand again and I promise you the next press conference you will be appearing in will be on blackplanet. I will end you. Yes You.

Reporter 2: Mr Gona, what is your relationship with Bill Harris?

Tawanda: Bill is an old friend, I met him at Rock The Bells, he knew all the words to MURS's song Walk Like A Man, we rapped them together, he then proceeded to pass me a joint, and after some inspection I was positive it was the stickiest of the icky. Since then we've been partners, not in a gay way or anything, but more like a Nishi and Horatio relationship from the Bad Sleep Well.

Reporter 3: Tawanda, excuse my language but, what the fuck are you talking about?

Tawanda: Wikipedia the Bad Sleep Well, you'll see what I mean. Next question, yes you.

Reporter 4: Tawanda how can you explain all of the similarities between you and Bill Harris, especially the striking physical similarities?

Tawanda: Well Bill and I are both ENFJ personality types. And all black males with glasses look alike. Next question.

Reporter 5: Tawanda why did you decide to leave facebook?

Tawanda: Well, it kind of sucks, everyone I know knows everyone else so I got tired of it, plus I was getting tired of seeing multiple girls I liked in relationships. And finally my family members are slowly starting to get facebooks, and I dont want them to see my notes about drugs sex and alcohol. Oh and I felt it was a cool thing to do. Next question.

Reporter 6: Tawanda what can we expect from you now that your on Blogspot?

Tawanda: Well, you can expect my blogs to be less localized, more general humor so i can appeal to a mass audience, for instance instead of saying "I think Brian Stricklands a douchebag" I'll say "If you all knew this one kid Brian Strickland, you'd think he's a douchebag". Next question.

Reporter 7: Mr Gona, how do you respond to reports that your just doing this to get laid?

Tawanda: Well, everything any man does is to get laid, so yes this is to get me laid, next question.

Reporter 8: Tawanda, TMZ posted a story yesterday that insinuated that you may be the reason for Lindsay Lohan's crossover to lesbianism, how do you respond to this?

Tawanda: There's only one white girl for me......

Reporter 9: Tawanda can you-

Tawanda: Wait one second.....I'm in a good place right now.........yea thats nice....ok next question.

Reporter 10: Tawanda when can we expect your screenplay to be finished, its been a year since you started it.

Tawanda: Masterpieces have no time limit. And on that note this conference is over, now if you excuse me I have some work to do. Peace