Back when myspace wasnt just for hoodrats and pedophiles

I was 17 when I wrote this:

Im a guy (word!!!??) so naturally i enjoy action movies. I love action movies cuz they dont have to make sense, like shit can just burst into flames for no reason (cars crash and cause fucking mushroom clouds i love it) guns never run out of ammo until the last "showdown" (this always happens) that random extra will jus fucking get his head blown the fuck off (all the guns will just stop blasting but his head will randomly get blown off, you kno he's at a bar rite now tryin to pick up women like "yea im an actor, you see Always Die Twice (these movies always have bullshit names like that) yea you remember that seen when theres that big gun battle and it stops and that guy gets his head blown off? yea that was me, it took like 2 hours to shoot that scene like shit would go wrong like part of my head would blow off but parts would be visible, like the bottom of my head would disappear but my eyes would still be seen, theyd play pranks like instead of my head blowing off my crotch would explode instead, it was a good experience") I love action movies, but what i hate are the endings, all of them, cuz they all end the same FUCKING way, like the bad guy will be killed and the cops will show up youll see the main character with some woman he saved, and she's all like "thank you for saving my life, i owe you everything, i dont kno how to repay you" and he's all like dont worry abuot it when he really should be like "first off you should give me head...NOW do it bitch i saved your life...i dont care if your kids are right there get down!" but neway after this one will walk away and theyll always turn around like "hey, i guess your day hasnt been so bad after all haha" and the character laughs, do they not fucking realize people fucking died, just fucking now, the bad guys head is like rolling by as the joke is being made and he still laughs, what should really happen is the main character says "wait what? did you just make a joke? are u serious? do you realized people fucking died? i killed like 121 fucking thousand people, ive killed more than AIDS and Tobacco do in one day COMBINED, and you still make a fucking joke? do you realize that im gonnna have nightmares about all the people i killed? ill prolly end up blowing my fucking brains out cuz the grief will be too fucking much for me to fucking bear!? i still got blood all over me! the leaders head is rolling by me right fuckin n-I CUT OFF THAT FUCKING HEAD IT SOMEHOW ROLLED DOWN AN ELEVATOR AND THREE FUCKING FLIGHTS OF STAIRS AND TO MY FEET AND YOU STILL MAKE A FUCKING JOKE!!!??? get the fuck out of my face i never wanna see you again...i guess you are having a bad day hahaha AAAAHHHHHHHH" yea thas basically what he should say. What would make the movie that much better tho is after everythings over, everythings quiet, a ninja jus stabs him with a throwing star and disappears in black smoke, cuz thas how the ninjas do

You never hear this angle, but smoking weed might easily be the greatest bad decision i ever made.