Dreams really do come true

Ok now, to watch this video, you first have to get past the fact that its all in german. Once you get past that you'll notice something amazing. Yes he just stacked those dice with a fucking cup, it gets crazier from there my friends. Half way thru this i realized, this is this guys life, i mean he dedicated everything to it, from like a young age, kids probably made fun of him, girls thought he was weird and wouldnt fuck him. He probably had to go to the prom or nazi rally or whatever germans do in high school, he was a loser. But he was dedicated, and now is his time to shine, his dreams are coming true. You gotta love it.

Juelz on Dipset

Now honestly i really dont care that that much about dipset, but i thought this video was notable because of Juelz's Hat. What the fuck is he wearing? There is no amount of swag in the world that could pull that off, but props to Juelz for trying the whole old school foo-actually wait, wait, IS THAT THAT NIGGA UN KASA? OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, LOOK AT HIM AHAHAHAHAH why he's look so sad, i guess theres 2 reasons to watch this video, juelz's hat and that dude Un Kasa and the fact that juelz is the only one with Ice on. Enjoy!

Philly Rap

So yesterday i was just chillin listening to Cassidy and I remembered theres mad other rapers out in Philly, and that this time last year I was all about Philly Rap. So let me put you on if you dont know already:

Reed Dollaz



if you were wondering, he's coming at this guy;

Joey Jihad:



If you think this guy looks familiar, but you dont know where you know him from, he's the guy who got knocked out and got his car stolen in a youtube video. But on to the next dude.

If you noticed in the first video that goofy lookin nigga with no front teeth behind reed, it was this guy right here.
Frank Wit Tha Grippaz Gone:



Now if you watched that video, you probably saw this dude rocking a black wife beater who kinda looks like a crackhead. Thats my dude Kaboom:

Kaboom:



Now theres alot more philly rap out there, but i got class in like 5 minutes so, just search youtube, im sure youll find more shit on your own.

Peace

I love Obama but..

I hate Obama shirts, I think this may be the most annoying fashion trend since the all over hoodie. I get it, you "love" Obama, he's the man, you voted for him, great, you dont need to make him into a fad, he's our fucking president. How can other countries take us seriously when theres videos on youtube of drunk fucks throwing up everywhere wearing shirts with the leader of our country's face on it? Dont get me wrong, at first i thought obama shirts were ill, but this was 4 years ago. Since then theyve just gotten more and more annoying, some where clever ill admit, undercrown's with Obama dunking over McCain was ill and the one of him on his highschool basketball team was cool, but still we need to get past this.

This is way overdue

So its winter and...its pretty fucking cold out. And since its still only January, itll be cold for a while. I've always felt that the Winter is the best time to listen to wu-tang, cuz the weather is just so cold and relentless, just like the rhymes and beats of the Wu. And if I'm gonna put up wu-tang videos, i gotta start with the classic, the one acronym everyone knows. C.R.E.A.M. :



Look at how cold it is in the video, Winter is Wu-Tang Season

T-Shirt Hell closing

So back when i was maybe 16-17 I went to this t shirt site called t-shirthell.com the shirts were perfect for me at the time. I wanted to stand out, and theres no better way of standing out then wearing a shirt that says "rape is not a funny matter" on the front and "unless your raping a clown" on the back as you walk thru the halls of your high school. I got a few more shirts and constantly checked in on the site, but as i got older and shirts started to suck i stopped going to the site. I even took myself off the mailing list, but for some reason every 3 weeks i would still get a new one, i never read them until i saw this farewell. Its kind of weird because, this site was a really big part of my life at one point, it helped shape me into for better or worse the person i am today, and now as it plays almost no role in my life, it goes out of business. I doubt anyone from Tshirthells gonna read this but i just wanna say, Goodbye Tshirthell, and thanks for everything.

http://www.tshirthell.com/goodbye.php

This may be the illest goodbye letter ive ever seen. I wish to one day be ill enough to do something like this and not care.

.....yea

.....now, im not the most pro black person in the world (nigga is one of my top 5 words of all time after bitch and right before awesome) but the orange weave alone puts niggas back like 2 marches. But hey, maybe it really is cold in the d.

Shouts to my dude Efe for puttin me on.

The Royal Rumble

So tonight at the age of 20 I just watched my first Wrestling Pay-Per View. This may have been one of the single greatest moments of my entire life. It was unbelievable, I remembered immediately why i loved wrestling, I mean i had no idea who half the wrestlers were and thought some of it was unbelievably fake (i said loved, as in past tense). I remembered back in the day when i was a mere shorty with a huge overbite and a gap you could kick footballs thru, wrestling was life and death, good guys didnt always bad guys and good guys could go bad, nothing was ever set in stone. DX was badass, the corporate ministry was terrifying and the sound of glass breaking made us all skip a beat. I remembered all of this while i was watching this royal rumble, I'm glad i got to experience it...but anyway while i never watched a live paper view, i've seen alot of old ones, so here are some of my favorites.

1997:


2000:


1999 (Technically this is still a royal rumble match, besides it kicks so much ass)



yea i feel 3's enough. If you really have the time to watch all three, somethings really wrong with your life.

Yea i dont know.

.. yea

Japanese Cartoon

So Lupe Fiasco has a secret indie-rock group called Japanese Cartoon, wait it gets better, he sings in a british accent. Greatness? Yea, I thought so too. Heres a couple tracks:

Army:
http://www.zshare.net/audio/53673951a916cfd9/

Heirplanes
http://www.zshare.net/audio/536741492a22b07c/

I found this today too. This guy took alot of famous songs and alot of famous videogame themes and mashed them together. this came out pretty sick, peep.

http://tkrmx.blogspot.com/2009/01/arcade-mixtape.html

City Of God's Son

So I stumbled across this like 10 minutes ago, I'm still not sure exactly what it is but I'm giving it a shot. The site calls it a "Hip-Hopera" and seeing as the last hiphopera was "carmen" I immediately had no hope for it. However after reading on the site how heardphones are needed to truly enjoy this and the vocals of Nas, Ghostface, Jay-Z and countless other of my favorite MCs were used to weave together a story, i was won over. Part 1 is available now and Part 2 should be dropping this summer, I would definitely peep if i were you.

http://www.cityofgodson.com/

Suicide Hotline

Operator: Hello, My name's John, what's your name.
Jerry: ...Jerry
Operator: Ok what seems to be the problem Joey?
Jerry: Its Jerry
Operator: Oh...Sorry Jerry, tell me whats wrong.
Jerry: See my life is ok, I got an ok job a good apartment, a nice set of friends but...I'm sorry this is gonna sound really stupid.
Operator: Its Ok Jerry, you can tell me.
Jerry: Well, I know this girl, whos going out with this guy...who has a 10 inch penis.
Operator: .........what.
Jerry: I know, I couldnt believe it, I was st-
Operator: I'm sorry to interrupt but, you want to kill yourself because you know someone with a 10 inch penis?
Jerry; Yes. Yes I do.
Operator: I'm sorry to pry but can you tell me why this penis makes you want to die?
Jerry: Well, I'm not the type people would pick to be on a football or Trivial Pursuit Team, I'm not the best looking guy either, but I always felt that I had a big penis.
Operator: ....O...k...
Jerry: I knew you wouldnt understand, i-i should go now.
Operator: No wait! I'm trying to understand. Please continue.
Jerry: Ok, but I always felt I had a big penis, I used that to get over my crushing shyness, i told myself whenever i went into a room, that i had the biggest penis. It got to the point I believed I had the biggest penis in the city. Then the state...then the country..and then
Operator: ...the world.
Jerry: Exactly, My confidence grew and I started truly enjoying life. It was the gr-
Operator: Wait, how does this make any sense, you believed you had the biggest penis in the world? Theres no way to know that!
Jerry: Exactly! So theres no way to know thats not true? Its not like i can i mean want to see every mans penis. So I can just assume i have the biggest.
Operator: What about pornstars? You thought your penis was bigger then theirs?
Jerry: Well their professionals, plus they have surgery.
Operator: ...ok, this is all nice but we need to get back to the reason you want to kill yourself.
Jerry: Well, when I found out this guy had a 10 inch penis, I had no idea what to think. I felt like humpty dumpty when he fell off his wall, like Drago when he lost to Rocky, like when the Patriots lost to the Giants. I couldnt believe it, at first i tried to block it out, but then everytime id see him......all i could see was his penis.
Operator: .....What.
Jerry: I would see his Penis, just laughing at me, everything he had seem bigger than what i had, if i was wearing a medium he was wearing an XXL, it drove me nuts. I bought weights to-
Operator: Compensate? Alot of guys do that.
Jerry: No i got penis weights to lengthen it, but all that happened is...i got a sprain.
Operator: Ouch.
Jerry: Yes, so now I need to wear a cast, I cant work, I cant go out,...i cant beat off, I just wanna die.
Operator: Wow...I see why. But dont let this get to you, cuz umm.....me may have a bigger......penis than you, but you might have a... better penis than him.
Jerry: I never thought about it that way.....
Operator: And also, worse comes to worse you can get surgery.
Jerry; I think i just might! Thanks Man! I owe you my life! Literally!
Operator: No problem Sir. Have a nice night Jerry.

http://www.selfedge.com/ = Greatest Denim site ever

http://www.selfedge.com/


This site is so awesome, like I was just sitting here unispired with clothes in our era and then this site just appeared to me like a gift from the heavens. I'm not gonna lie i wasnt really the biggest denim person for a while, but this site has really got me thinking about dropping 2-3 hundred on a pair of jeans. Sure i only get like a 60 dollar allowance but still i can finagle this.

The Streets

This CD has been the soundtrack to my entire January. Its not his newest one but its easily my favorite, A Grand Don't Come For Free. It took me a while to get with his flow, which is basically just him talking and rapping at the same time, which is quite weird but after i got used to that its been heavenly. Peep this shit

Cam'Ron is my favorite rapper

Alot of people think that I only listen to like Underground HipHop, like I'm a huge hiphop purist (aka hiphop nerd) but the truth is I just listen to whatevers ill, which brings me to my next point.




Cam'Ron is the greatest rapper of all time, alot of you now are probably about to X-Out this page and never come back because of that last statement. If thats you, go ahead i really dont care, I probably thought you were a douchebag anyway. But anyway, Cam'Ron is the truth, Cam'ron has always been the truth, and Cam'ron will always be the truth. Need more proof:



Yes, thats all i got to say. Still disagree, all i have to say to that is:

u mad?

Super Powers

I'm pretty sure everyone has wished they had superpowers. I dont care who you are you've once thought about somehow getting superpowers, whether it be drinking a mysterious beverage, getting sprayed with toxic waste, shoving your head in the microwave, we've all dreamt about somehow getting a power. Most people wish to fly, or have super speed, or read minds (note anyone who says that is really nosy, so to fuck with them dont tell them anything about anything, theyll go nuts) we've all wanted these powers but no ones really ever thought, shit I'd have to be a SuperHero, cuz everyone thinks being a superhero is awesome, when really its not. You gotta have a secret identity or villains will kill everyone you love, people will always be trying to kill you, you'd have to wear a gay outfit, you always have to save the day, you cant be hungover or PMSing or anything like that, no relationship. Being a superhero would be a horrible existence, and if people saw you flying from place to place theyd assume thats the route you'd take.
Now with all this in mind, I realized that if i had a superpower, itd have to be something low key, but awesome. So with much thought ive decided that my superpower would be the ability to find 5 dollar bills anywhere I go. Cuz everyone loves finding money, that shit makes a day! Think about the last time you found a dollar on the ground, how awesome was that? Imagine that happening everyday, but instead of a one itd be a 5. Now your probably wondering why not just find 100 dollar bills everywhere? Well i would but thats too suspicious, and more importantly that ruins the power, people would follow me, everyone would know i was the kid who finds 100 dollar bills, id never be left alone. The 5 is just a good solid number, cuz everyone could use an extra 5 dollars. And yes there would be a limit of how many dollars i found in a week. This shit has to stay fair.

That doesnt happen everyday

Let me just say i really hate those blogs where people just talk about all the mundane shit they did, and try to complain to be funny "I went to the mall yesterday, a bottle of water was 2 bucks! how am i gonna pay for something i can get for free!? blah blah blah please tell me I'm funny blah blah bladdity blah" But i think there are some exceptions. Like yesterday. Something kind of amazing happened that i almost missed. Dont ask me how but somehow last night I was playing Pictionary with Strippers. I dont know how and i dont kno why, but all I kno is that i was playing Pictionary with Strippers, shit that in itself sounds like a title or a prize in some contest on the radio. I also think its funny that, people pay to see these girls naked and fantasize about what crazy things they do in their spare time, when the crazy shit their doing is actually just playing pictionary, the ill family fun game. Mind you we did smoke like 3 blunts before this but a little weed never hurt now and then. What i think is really noteworthy tho is that I didnt even notice what was really going on, all i could focus on is the fact that i was LOSING to these 2 bitches.

And if your wondering, yes I did ask the necessary question "Can a nigga get a table dance?" and no unfortunately a nigga did not, not cuz she said no but simply cuz i could spend that 20 dollars on something way more necessary, like food or scratch tickets.

You cant be serious can you?

This is Dior's new mens sunglasses that will take the world by storm. They are also another reason I will hate everyone in the next couple of months. I guess the new trend is just looking like a futuristic douchebags, cuz we have waayyy to many from this time era. I can actually see 2 camps of douchebags forming, the wannabe futuristic douchebag, and the "fuck the future I'll rock shit from the past" douchebag, so you'll see guys dressed like they belong in Tron, and dudes dressed like Tom from the Great Gatsby, who personally i considered literature's first real douchebag.

Well this was pretty interesting

Now honestly, I know it may seem as if I go out of my way to search for the weirdest videos, but i swear i just randomly come up on them. Like just now, i was minding my own business looking at underground clothing brands when i got to a blog that had this clip:



Yes, Nazi zombies, I'm shocked it took so long for this, with all the WWII movies and Zombie movies out there you'd think someone wouldve thought early on, "hey everyone hates nazis, and everyones afraid of zombies, why dont we just make a movie about nazi zombies?" I really hope this hybrid idea catches on, I didnt want to say anything earlier but I got this new Drama I'm working on about rape victims with cancer titled "just when you thought life couldnt get worse" it should be on lifetime soon.

People really love cars?

So I always thought fetishes were weird, but made sense. Like these things feel good or have something really sexual about them, but now i really dont know. I found these 3 videos each more disturbing than the last. lets begin shall we?

First we have Revving girls:



Yes if you were waiting to see a guy come in to "help" her with her car, dont bother, cuz this is all the vid is. And theres not just one, theres a website dedicated to this. I really cannot imagine someone beating off to this. In fact, how do you respond when you get caught beating off to this? :

Troy: Hey Ryan whats up you watching Nasca-OH MY GOD are you beating off?
Mike: .....
Troy: ...to a chick driving a car?
Mike: .....its hot
Troy: Its a foot pushing down on a pedal.
Mike: It gets me off dude, I dont know why but it gets me off.
Troy: Ok...could you at least stop beating off? I really dont think we should hang out anymore.

Next Vid:



Well to be fair, high heels are kind of sexy, and gas prices are high, but toy car crushing? I can only imagine a little boy somewhere who's too poor to afford toy cars watching this and crying.

And Finally:



Yes, he fucks cars. The scary part is there's more people who actually do this. This is part 2 of a 6 part documentary. Think of this the next time you rent or buy a used car.

So the next time your with your lover doing the do and he/she wants to shit on your chest, remember, it could be alot weirder than that.

Song of the Day

This is easily one of the greatest tracks of the 90s. I gotta thank my mans Chip for puttin me on this again

Press Conference

Tawanda Gona: Thank you all for coming to this press conference. I am here to announce my indefinite hiatus from Facebook and my new term on Blogspot. I will now open the floor for questions

Reporter 1: Tawanda seriously, you and Bill Harris are clearly the same person, just admit it!

Tawanda: Bill told me about you, and no I'm not Bill Harris, for one I wear my hat to the left and I'm clearly not Jewish. Next question, Reporter 1 raise your hand again and I promise you the next press conference you will be appearing in will be on blackplanet. I will end you. Yes You.

Reporter 2: Mr Gona, what is your relationship with Bill Harris?

Tawanda: Bill is an old friend, I met him at Rock The Bells, he knew all the words to MURS's song Walk Like A Man, we rapped them together, he then proceeded to pass me a joint, and after some inspection I was positive it was the stickiest of the icky. Since then we've been partners, not in a gay way or anything, but more like a Nishi and Horatio relationship from the Bad Sleep Well.

Reporter 3: Tawanda, excuse my language but, what the fuck are you talking about?

Tawanda: Wikipedia the Bad Sleep Well, you'll see what I mean. Next question, yes you.

Reporter 4: Tawanda how can you explain all of the similarities between you and Bill Harris, especially the striking physical similarities?

Tawanda: Well Bill and I are both ENFJ personality types. And all black males with glasses look alike. Next question.

Reporter 5: Tawanda why did you decide to leave facebook?

Tawanda: Well, it kind of sucks, everyone I know knows everyone else so I got tired of it, plus I was getting tired of seeing multiple girls I liked in relationships. And finally my family members are slowly starting to get facebooks, and I dont want them to see my notes about drugs sex and alcohol. Oh and I felt it was a cool thing to do. Next question.

Reporter 6: Tawanda what can we expect from you now that your on Blogspot?

Tawanda: Well, you can expect my blogs to be less localized, more general humor so i can appeal to a mass audience, for instance instead of saying "I think Brian Stricklands a douchebag" I'll say "If you all knew this one kid Brian Strickland, you'd think he's a douchebag". Next question.

Reporter 7: Mr Gona, how do you respond to reports that your just doing this to get laid?

Tawanda: Well, everything any man does is to get laid, so yes this is to get me laid, next question.

Reporter 8: Tawanda, TMZ posted a story yesterday that insinuated that you may be the reason for Lindsay Lohan's crossover to lesbianism, how do you respond to this?

Tawanda: There's only one white girl for me......

Reporter 9: Tawanda can you-

Tawanda: Wait one second.....I'm in a good place right now.........yea thats nice....ok next question.

Reporter 10: Tawanda when can we expect your screenplay to be finished, its been a year since you started it.

Tawanda: Masterpieces have no time limit. And on that note this conference is over, now if you excuse me I have some work to do. Peace

Song Of The Day

So today at work I listened to in Rainbows by Radiohead for the first time ever. Honestly it didnt blow my mind, then again I wasnt on acid or shrooms or paint thinner so maybe I missed out, but still I listened to the whole CD without ever wanting to change the music once, which is pretty awesome, so my track for today is of course, Reckoner:



yea, hopefully my knowledge of this track will get me some of that sweet sweet hipster pussy, oh yea

Since its my blog I can do this.

I decided I'll post a scene from my Family Guy that I worked on in the summer, cuz its only fair:

{Lois goes to do laundry in the basement, when she goes to turn on the light at the stairs, the basement doesn’t light up}
Lois: Peter! I told you to put a light-bulb in the basement 3 weeks ago!
Peter: Yea I’ll fix the stove soon honey!
Lois: Peter, we have gremlins!
{gremlins run out of the basement}
Peter: Holy Crap! Not again!
{Peter runs into the kitchen, throws lightbulbs at the gremlins}
Lois: Peter, what are you doing!?
Peter: Lights kill gremlins Lois
Lois: SUNlight kills gremlins!
{Gremlins surround the couple; Gizmo immediately opens the window, killing them all}
Lois: Thanks Gizmo, you’ve saved us yet again.
Gizmo: Don’t worry about it.
Mr Wing: Well Peter I fear you’re not ready for Gizmo, but you will be…one day.
{Mr Wing and Gizmo disappear in smoke}
Lois: Peter go to the store right now and buy more lightbulbs!
Peter: Ok, Ok, I will, no need to get all “menstrual” on me. Come on Brian lets go.
Brian: Alright.

I'll post some more as soon as I see people are actually reading my blog. Any day now

I could easily make fun of Japanese people for the rest of my life

Why are the eyes on the mask slanted?

.............

I searched for Superman Lover by Johnny Guitar Watson and i found this:




..............ya

Back when myspace wasnt just for hoodrats and pedophiles

I was 17 when I wrote this:

Im a guy (word!!!??) so naturally i enjoy action movies. I love action movies cuz they dont have to make sense, like shit can just burst into flames for no reason (cars crash and cause fucking mushroom clouds i love it) guns never run out of ammo until the last "showdown" (this always happens) that random extra will jus fucking get his head blown the fuck off (all the guns will just stop blasting but his head will randomly get blown off, you kno he's at a bar rite now tryin to pick up women like "yea im an actor, you see Always Die Twice (these movies always have bullshit names like that) yea you remember that seen when theres that big gun battle and it stops and that guy gets his head blown off? yea that was me, it took like 2 hours to shoot that scene like shit would go wrong like part of my head would blow off but parts would be visible, like the bottom of my head would disappear but my eyes would still be seen, theyd play pranks like instead of my head blowing off my crotch would explode instead, it was a good experience") I love action movies, but what i hate are the endings, all of them, cuz they all end the same FUCKING way, like the bad guy will be killed and the cops will show up youll see the main character with some woman he saved, and she's all like "thank you for saving my life, i owe you everything, i dont kno how to repay you" and he's all like dont worry abuot it when he really should be like "first off you should give me head...NOW do it bitch i saved your life...i dont care if your kids are right there get down!" but neway after this one will walk away and theyll always turn around like "hey, i guess your day hasnt been so bad after all haha" and the character laughs, do they not fucking realize people fucking died, just fucking now, the bad guys head is like rolling by as the joke is being made and he still laughs, what should really happen is the main character says "wait what? did you just make a joke? are u serious? do you realized people fucking died? i killed like 121 fucking thousand people, ive killed more than AIDS and Tobacco do in one day COMBINED, and you still make a fucking joke? do you realize that im gonnna have nightmares about all the people i killed? ill prolly end up blowing my fucking brains out cuz the grief will be too fucking much for me to fucking bear!? i still got blood all over me! the leaders head is rolling by me right fuckin n-I CUT OFF THAT FUCKING HEAD IT SOMEHOW ROLLED DOWN AN ELEVATOR AND THREE FUCKING FLIGHTS OF STAIRS AND TO MY FEET AND YOU STILL MAKE A FUCKING JOKE!!!??? get the fuck out of my face i never wanna see you again...i guess you are having a bad day hahaha AAAAHHHHHHHH" yea thas basically what he should say. What would make the movie that much better tho is after everythings over, everythings quiet, a ninja jus stabs him with a throwing star and disappears in black smoke, cuz thas how the ninjas do

You never hear this angle, but smoking weed might easily be the greatest bad decision i ever made.

The Mack is the greatest movie I have ever seen

..........i cant think of words to describe how beautiful all of that was. I've never seen Pimping look so right, at the same time its horribly misogynistic but still, this movie really makes Pimping seem like the best possible decision a young boy could make

I honestly just want everything dead

Ok so i dont know how but I didnt feel my hangover until...now, this whole day i was in an awesome mood, the birds were chirping, the sun was shinning, homeless people didnt smell as bad as usual, to sum up it was a pretty good day. Till about 15 minutes ago, I dont know what happened, I must've subconciously thought about puppies dying or AIDS or Carlos Mencia's success in life, but something has put a damper on my parade. Now I really just want everything and everyone dead. With that being said, welcome to my new blog.

Now some of you are probably wondering "Didnt you say you would never make a blog cuz you think they suck like 8 hours ago?" to answer this yes yes i did but what you didnt know is that I'm a pretty big hypocrite. On weekends I'm a counselor at a halfway house while secretly during the week I kill hookers. Yea that didnt make any sense but it's my blog and i can honestly say whatever I want. Yep, whatever I want.

For instance I really think Brian Stricklands a douchebag, nah im kidding(not really, fuck it its not like he's gonna see this and be like Oh my god Tawanda thinks Im a douche bag, he's probably too busy doing douchebaggy things like drinking Keystone Light or fucking Westie Girls) . But yea anyway I decided to put this up cuz facebook owns everything you write, and i really dont want Mark Zuckerberg (that greedy jew, yea i make racist jokes too, got a problem with that? X out the window and go spin a fucking dradle, nah I'm kidding I love Jews, bagels are my SHIT) to make any money off of my drug induced ramblings or jokes only I understand.

So what I'm gonna do soon is just take everything i wrote on facebook, edit them (take out all those shoutouts to Lidia Konomi, cuz looking back on it now that was pretty creepy on my part, she def has a can of Mace with my name on it). And put them up here. Also I'll post random videos I find appealing at the time, music maybe, news, clothes I like, pretty much whatever the fuck I want as I've already stated. Hopefully if you've read this far you'll probably read whatever i write tomorrow, if not, I have something new to regret Jan 1st 2010.

Thanks for your time.

One